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If you notice something missing or grossly inaccurate in Caern Convos that you'd liked to be added in, please don't bother to try to send in a correction, because this is all a joke. Enjoy April Fools!

- Megan


MARCH

CAERN/WYLD


The Guardans have been talking about an alarming finding recently. While on patrol, they have found empty plastic bottles, rubber gloves, empty tubes which resemble miniature toothpaste containers, and smears of brown stinky chemicals. They are baffled as to what may be the cause, but there is speculation that the Bawn may being used as a medical waste dump.

Robert has been seen a sporting a new, stylish head of rich mahogany hair and overheard to be whistling the "Just for Men" jingle.


CITY


Kyle has opened a new eatery on the waterfront, featuring such menu items as steak tartare, sashimi, and his specialty, mystery meat marinated in a little tobasco sauce.


PEOPLE


The news of a theft is moving like wildfire through the Sept. While sleeping off a giant drunk in the Caern after the equinox, some cunning Garou, probably a ragabash, made off with the Alpha's favorite collection of tiny war trophies that he kept on a thong around his neck. While staggering out after the perpetrator, someone *swears* they heard him mutter, "They're always after my lucky charms."


PACKS


The Supreme Court today declared the Sept of the Hidden Walk to be a vertical monopoly. A federal judge will oversee the breakup of the huge conglomerate into more competitive units to foster a free market society as the Founding Fathers intended.


CUBS


Another trouble, angst-filled, doubting cub was brought to the Farmhouse this month by some well-meaning Garou who promptly proceeded to erect the SEP field and was never seen or heard from again.


CHALLENGES


Megan has Challenged Quiet for the rank of Adren. Terms are unclear, but it has set off a massive philosophical discussion of whether or not the Sept's longest term resident will override the tradition of Megan's Adren's Challengees disappearing within two months after the Challenge has been issued. (Very similar to a favorite Glass Walker discussion about what would happen if the Star Wars stormtroopers who can never hit anything were made to fight Star Trek redshirts who always get killed).


DEATHS


The Verbena mage turned Nephandi turned Demon turned Wraith, Amanda, was killed again, twice, in a spectacular and dramatic fashion that is sure to be forgotten in a year or so.


MOOT


The Uktena theurge, Duskreader, returned to the Caern for this month's Moot. Unaware of the Hidden Walk's new affiliation, he raised a mighty howl to Buffalo, Magpie, and Cougar that stunned every Wyrm and Weaver spirit in the tri-state area. A massive revel ensued which cleared out not only every bane in St. Claire, but also in Seattle. A weepingly grateful Grey Sky has committed to building the first Umbral Starbucks in St. Claire at the corner of Silver and Oriental to commemorate the event.

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